D Gray man Dreams
by Penchant-for-raising-Cain
Summary: What happens when a fanfic author has dreams about D.Gray-man? Nothing good. A selection of one-shots, which are the dreams of a twisted, DGM loving mind. -censored language, maybe some suggestive themes-
1. Tango!

**So, what happens when Cain the author dreams about -man? Nothing good whatsoever. These are a couple of dreams I've had the past few months. Yes, they were so effing traumatic, I could remember them. I have skipped the non-DGM stuff that was in the dream – ADD minds also stop paying attention in dreams. So, enjoy dream-randomness. And don't do drugs.**

**Includes two OCs, which are Raising-Cain and I, and hints at AllenxOC and KandaxOC. And devastating amounts of randomness.**

**I do not own -man, cuz if I did, Lou Fa would have never existed. I find her annoying.  
**

Note: Raising-Cain was also in my dreams, so for naming sake, she will be called Manami (she likes Japanese names). And I will be Bryony (because I like this name), talking in first person.

The F word is being censored by the word 'eff'.

A warning to future dreamers: NEVER watch -man whilst eating chocolate at two in the morning. You WILL get crazy DGM dreams.

I walked through the halls of the Black Order, oblivious to the noise under my feet. Obviously Komui was cooking up another Komurin. I shuddered to think what this one could do. Homing missiles? Machine guns? Or even worse – cheese launchers?

Pushing the dark cheese related thoughts out of my mind, I walked into my room, wanting to change into something warmer. You'd think they'd make the uniform with thermals. My hand thudded against the back wall of my closet. I frantically shifted it left and right, to at least find one article of clothing. I did find one, and pulled it out.

My jaw dropped in horror. A dress. And not just any dress; a tango dress. It was ice white, with a cerulean sea pattern running across the front. The frills were hemmed with Arctic blue. I turned it, pleading to the tango gods that the back wasn't too deep. Evidently, the gods were on holiday, and had let all prayers go the answer phone. The back was miserably deep, with a skin tone strap holding it together. I assumed the accessories were supposed to don my arms, giving me a floating illusion. If only I could have used the choker to choke the person who did this.

Since it was the only thing I had left, I forced the dress on. There was only one person who knew my size – Lenalee. My plans for painful revenge were stopped immediately. If I even move a single hair out of place on Lenalee's head, Komui would push me off the cliff.

As I walked through the halls, still in my combat boots, I realized something. Everyone was dressed up! Did Lenalee sabotage every exorcist here?

"Bryony!"

I spun around; about to hurl a comeback if an insult was thrown. Instead, my jaw dropped for a second time.

"Manami, not you too!"

Yes, my best friend stood in a sparkly black tango dress, looking positively murderous. It was a faux sleeveless, with the collarbone and shoulders covered in a clear, sequined material. The jet cloth hanging from her arms rippled with every stride. I could hear the clunk of her combat boots as she came nearer.

"It was Lenalee, wasn't it?" she asked, in a venomous voice.

I held my hands up in defence. "Manami, use your scary voice at Hallowe'en, not now. Everyone's headed to the cafeteria. Maybe we'll get an answer there."

We came through the cafeteria, to be greeted with seas of tango costumes and hordes of tuxedos. I spotted Allen and Kanda, arguing at the punch bowl.

"I was here first, Kanda!"

"Che, Moyashi. I was."

"My name is Allen, BaKanda!"

"Whatever, baka Moyashi."

Manami came between them. "Hi guys! What's going on, do you know?"

Kanda ignored her, and turned to face me. His expression was nothing short of emo, but that wasn't what had my attention. Okay, picture Kanda in the best tuxedo you've ever seen. Then picture him in a better one. Then stop picturing him, he's mine.

His eyes did a once over at my dress. "Che. Lenalee should never shop for you again."

For once, I agreed with him. But like hell was I going to say it and give him the satisfaction!

"Right back at you. Seriously, who picked your tux out? King Kong?"

He just rolled his eyes, and I wished I would've held my tongue. That is by far the lamest insult I have ever told him. King Kong? What, my brain can't stretch as far as Godzilla?

Just then, Komui burst through the room, carrying the biggest muffin in the world. It had candles in it, and – unfortunately, I wasn't mistaken – was singing 'Happy Birthday' in Komui's, erm, less than savoury singing tone. I groaned, as the birthday girl walked in. Lenalee was a dress that might as well have been made for anime fanservice characters.

"Welcome to my fantabulous birthday tango! Everyone, pick a partner, and let the tango begin!" she spoke in a loud, bubbly, 'makes-me-wants-to-barf' voice.

Immediately, people linked arms and began the complicated Latin routine...apart from Lavi. I stifled a snigger as I watched the red-haired exorcist sway side to side on a chair, wearing pink rabbit ears. I have to say, it was a great addition to the all pink tuxedo. My annoyance towards Lenalee diminished slightly.

I sat down as well, determined not to dance. The only people left were Allen and Kanda, so I was left with two unpleasant consequences:

Manami would kill me if I danced with Allen (not that she will EVER admit that she drools for Allen, and vice versa!)

I would kill myself if I danced with Kanda (and don't you DARE say otherwise...)

It wasn't long before Allen, his red face shining with embarrassment beneath the shock of white hair, mumbled an invitation to the dance floor to Manami. She blushed, and hesitantly took his gloved hand. They glided across the floor elegantly. I didn't even know that the pair knew tango. Well, that left me with Kanda, so option number two was wide open. Umm, no, I do not have a death wish.

The long-haired exorcist stopped leaning against the snack table like an emo, and came to sit next to me. That was my cue to ignore Kanda, whatever he said. I turned slightly, making sure that his face was not in my line of vision. But I could still hear him muttering a string of curses, mostly about why the eff did he come here in an effing tux if he wasn't going to effing dance. It effing drove him up the effing wall. And that effing Moyashi...and so it carried on.

"Oi, Bryony," Kanda snapped suddenly.

My plan to ignore him went out of Black Order's top window. "What?"

Instantly, Kanda was on his feet, and he grabbed my hand. "We're dancing."

I was in too much shock to register myself being pulled onto the dance floor, or even whose hand was holding mine. At least I got over the haze quickly.

WHACK!

Kanda's hand slipped off as I executed a perfect punch to his shoulder.

"What was that for?"

"What the eff are you doing, idiot? First you tell me 'we're dancing' without asking if I wanted to, then you man-handle me, and now you have the nerve to ask me 'what did you do that for'?"

The Latin music seemed to grow quieter for me. Kanda's face went through surprise, annoyance and stony, before settling on stony.

"Would you like to dance?"

000000000000000000000000000

And that was when I woke up to the sound of a car alarm.

**Yep, that was it. Sorry if you found it boring, but I wanted to share this. If people like it, I'll keep going. If people don't like it...I'll still keep going. I think my other dreams are better than this one, but this was the most recent (this morning!). Oh, and I am not the nicest person to Lenalee.**

**The tango dresses that Raising-Cain and I wore are shown on these links.**

**My dress:** .com/adimg/tango/tango_

**Raising-Cain's dress:** .com/ballroom_

**Please review! **


	2. Rabbits and Vegetables

**You now head into stranger territory. Maybe not entertaining, but definitely stranger. No Kanda in this one – up, this is just me, Allen and Lavi. The way it played out in my dream, I was watching a -man episode...if you can call it an episode. I had this one this morning. There a lot of stuff about French class before this part. Raising-Cain is not in this one.**

**I don't own -man, otherwise, I would be hated by Kanda lovers everywhere (read the manga, you'll know why.)  
**

A warning to future dreamers: NEVER watch -man whilst eating chocolate at two in the morning. You WILL get crazy DGM dreams.

As the sun set on a Scandinavian land, Allen, Lavi and I finally made it over the perilous hill. How it was perilous, I don't know; the biggest threat was the bunny rabbit that chased us halfway up the damn thing.

"So, why are we even here?" I asked the two boys.

Lavi, shook his head, indicating that he wasn't telling. I narrowed my eyes, promising a world of pain which would be brought forth by that possessed bunny.

Allen stopped the mind games by saying, "We're not even there yet. Once we get down to that farm, I'll explain."

He pointed to the barn house, perched half way down the hill. I shrugged and followed, not wanting to argue. My muscles ached in protest – we had only just battle our way through a dozen akuma. Rhubarb shaped akuma, can you believe it? I know this is farmland, but come on! We half walked, half skidded down the muddy slope, Lavi and Allen ahead of me. They were definitely excited about something. Do they know the person in the farm? Do they like barnyard animals?

"Why, hello there, young whippersnappers," the old lady greeted us, as she let us in.

"Thank you, ma'am," Allen replied politely. He began to talk to her quietly.

"Dude, who is this?" I whispered to Lavi, as we sat on the sofa, springs digging into my thighs.

"Beats me," came the response.

My nerve was on its last limits. We had climbed an effing huge hill, been attacked by Satan's rabbit, got covered in mud on the way down – and now we're sitting in the house of an effing stranger! What the hell are these two actually planning?

"Oh, it's been a while since I've seen crop surveyors!" the woman screeched with delight.

Crop surveyors? What did Allen say?

"Oh yes, we would very much like to see your turnips growing back there," Allen said.

A warm smile graced Allen's face, and Lavi clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Damn, he's turning on the charm. It'll be worth it though!" he giggled.

I maintained calm long enough to get outside, where the lady left us with a "God bless you". Is that woman deranged? Crop surveyors don't exist – not here. And since when do crop surveyors wear such special coats? She needs a doctor.

"Seriously, if you don't spill the effing beans right now, you're getting a taste of my Innocence!" I growled at the pair.

Allen flinched, while Lavi said, "Look, if we wanted Kanda to come, we would've invited him. Stop acting like him – lighten up."

They must have seen my devil eyes, because Allen quickly babbled, "It's not something we can really explain. We can show you."

"Show me, then."

The two exorcists glanced at each other, and turned to the vast turnip ocean. They assumed a racing stance, before...skipping. They start SKIPPING through the turnips. Soon, they joined hands a spun around the turnips. Then came the turnip angels. It took a lot of restraint not to just sit down and cry.

And when you think that everything in the world had gone wrong, the world kicks it up a notch.

"The maggots of hell are waiting to feast on your corpse."

I jumped, startled by the voice behind me. Even without turning around, I knew what it was.

"RABBIT!"

Lavi and Allen stopped with the turnip fetish, and looked at me.

"No..."

I sprinted towards, them. The red eyed demon rabbit waved, and hordes of cute but sadistic bunnies formed an army around it. The scene was horrifying, but what the things they chanted were even worse. Things like:

"Our God is a wrathful God."

"You anger the mighty Rabbit King."

"We will swallow your souls."

"Die, unclean ones."

"Your deaths will not come swiftly. You will suffer the unending wrath of the Rabbit King."

"We will stab you in the faces with knives."

I woke up thinking, "Why the hell did I watch DGM, then Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged series?"

**The rabbit phrases come from LittleKuriboh's YGOTAS' Evil Bear (Marik's Evil Council #2). But the 'Our God is a wrathful God' comes from MasterWGS's Pokemon TAS, episode 6. I really do have to stop watching abridged stuff.**

**This was shorter, and probably more boring than the last one – but PurplePunkette told me to keep writing. ****Reviews, anyone?**


	3. Food Makes Exorcists Go Mad

**This is a combined dream. Since both of our dreams were short, and full of AllenxOC and KandaxOC, we just smushed it together. It's kind of...umm, yeah. A divide in the story signifies a change in POV. Oh God, I thought I stopped writing in POVs, I find it strange now. Anyways!**

A warning to future dreamers: NEVER watch D Gray man whilst eating chocolate at two in the morning. You WILL get crazy DGM dreams.

**C'mon...a fanfic writer owning D Gray man?**

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It was surprising enough that Jerry allowed me to cook a private meal, but to clear the entire cafeteria for it? That is hysterical. I wasn't even sure why I was cooking for Allen, Kanda and Manami anyway. I think I told myself some stupid philosophy that went 'friends who eat together, stay together'. That's not right, is it? Whatever, proverbs are not my strong point.

"So, whatcha cookin'?" Manami asked as she bounced into the room.

She was joined, not long after, by an exorcist with an elephant's appetite.

"You got food? You got food? You got food?" Allen asked, acting like a hamster tripping on acid.

"Che, Moyashi, what are you on?" Kanda muttered, as he dragged himself in.

"The name's Allen. Is your attention span that short?" Allen said, calming down immediately.

Before they burst into flames from all the rage (trust me, one time is enough), I placed their plates of food on the table with a small _thwack! _The pair jumped at the sound, but it was only a few seconds before Allen started devouring the food. Kanda just stared at it.

"This isn't soba," he said flatly.

I crossed my arms. No way was he going to refuse.

"No, it's not."

"What the eff is it, then?"

"Watch your language, BaKanda. It's marshmallows, asparagus and ravioli."

He glared at me threateningly. "I'm not eating that crap."

My mind raced; he is going to eat it, but how do I convince him? I surreptitiously glanced at Manami, asking for a silent idea. She caught the glance, and smirked. Oh, I knew what she was thinking.

_No, I'm not in effing love with Kanda! _I aimed the obvious thought towards her.

She just rolled her eyes, like she had actually received the message. Manami pointed at Allen, who was licking the pot clean in record time. The light bulb went off so brightly, I swear the other could see it.

Allen looked at me with silver puppy dog eyes, and held up his plate "More?"

I nodded, then gave Kanda a vicious look, "Okay, I'm making another pot for Allen. By the time I get back, you better have tasted something."

"Or what?" he retorted.

"Or I'm coming into your room at night (Manami earned a kick under the table for sniggering), and cutting your hair off. I have ninja skills."

The exorcist narrowed his eyes. I could see his hand inching towards Mugen.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

I felt him with that, and busied myself in the kitchen. Jerry said I was using too much sugar with the marshmallows, but like I cared. Marshmallow surprise was my specialty, and I know everyone enjoys it. And soon, so will a certain stubborn Japanese exorcist.

Allen practically launched at the pot when I brought it out. Manami had just finished as well, but was having a hard time getting marshmallows. I ate my own (finally!), and savoured the taste. Yep, I'm a good cook.

Once I had finished telling Allen that if he asks for more, I will cut off his hair as well, Kanda cleared his throat with a "Che."

"Got something to say, Kanda?" I asked coolly.

"Not bad."

My fork hovered in mid air, whilst Manami's just dropped. I turned, and asked incredulously, "Huh?"

"Not as good as soba, but not bad, baka," he mumbled quickly.

I stood, really not believing it.

"No way."

Kanda stood as well, looking quite annoyed. A dangerous anger mark was appearing on his forehead.

"Do you want me to prove it?"

"That would be nice."

The movement was brief, but it happened. For 1.5 seconds, I was in Kanda's arms. It was an effing hug. No freaking way.

He pulled away as fast as he had grabbed me, and said, "It. Was. Nice. Are we done here?"

He stormed out of the cafeteria quickly, and we could hear him yell at a passing Finder, who burst into tears and ran the other way. Oh, God. Manami would not let me hear the end of this.

Speaking of which, where is Manami? And Allen for that matter?

With a strong sense of foreboding in my stomach (or it could've been the asparagus), I opened the door to the kitchen. And I was right.

"ALLEN? MANAMI? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY FOOD?"

Manami turned, her mouth stuffed with blue and white marshmallows. Allen was on the floor, picking up stray ravioli pieces, one of them dangerous close to his mouth. If I was Kanda, I so would have sliced them with Mugen. Thank God I'm not.

"That is expensive stuff! Do you know how much marshmallows and ravioli ingredients cost in a recession?" I yelled.

Manami and Allen shrugged.

That did it for me. Either they pay me back, or the order will have two less Exorcists.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Kanda, help me find them, dammit!"

"Che."

I crouched under the table with Allen, trying to track Bryony and Kanda's voices around the castle. The marshmallows were making me really sleepy though, so...

[One nap later]

I stirred, rubbing my sleepy eyes. Wait, why am I lower down than before? I looked up to see...Allen? His white hair was dangling forward as he gently slept. It was then that I realized that I was in his lap. Crap. The shock was so intense, I tried to get up. But it was total fail, because Allen's white head was in the way. We collided splendidly, making brilliant red marks on our foreheads. Good thing it was masked by the brilliant red of our embarrassment.

"God, you are so useless!" Bryony shouted. A crash was heard.

"Dammit, woman, don't throw an effing vase at me!"

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it? Be emo?"

"This is quite entertaining to listen to," Allen mused.

I couldn't agree more. Those two are so perfect for each other that they even threaten to kill each other. If that isn't love, I don't know what is. We sat under the desk for a while, trying to rid our faces of an unpleasant redness. Well, what makes it harder is that I can see Allen's silver eyes! Do I pick now to get a photographic memory?

"Found you."

A quiet, smug voice called out behind me. My back started freezing, and I turned in slow motion. I was met with the devil known as Bryony's Anger. Jeez, add Kanda's anger and you could make a pretty big bonfire! Big enough for tons of marshmallows!

Suffice to say, Allen and I got punished by being dangled out of the Black Order's highest window, courtesy of Marie's Innocence.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Kanda, warn a girl if you're going to push her out a window."

"And Bryony, warn a guy if you're going to take him with you."

And the arguments didn't stop, even in the infirmary. Ouch...

00000000000000000000000

Cain: When I woke up, I swear I felt a bruise from where my arm hit a tree.

00000000000000000000000

Raising-Cain: Okay, why was I blushing when I woke up?

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**Umm, okay. Fair enough Cain...that end part was the part of my dream. The middle was Raising-Cain's. So, reviews would be nice, no matter how crappy or boring you thought this was. I did say that the third chapter was going to be Raising-Cain's dream, but we decided to post it after this one. **


	4. Some Injuries Can Never Heal

...Don't ask. I am fairly certain that someone laced my food with LSD (don't do drugs, they're bad). Warning: Contains Kanda x OC (which is Cain), blood, needles and a very stupid rabbit. Again, don't ask...

**Disclaimer: Really? I'm flattered that you think I own D Gray man, but...really?**

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A warning to future dreamers: NEVER watch D Gray man whilst eating chocolate at two in the morning. You WILL get crazy DGM dreams. (hopefully, not this crazy...)

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I was running. Why I was running, or where, I had no idea. I just ran. The Black Order woods were drenched in splendid moonlight, and I could feel a light drizzle seep into my shirt. Maybe if I wasn't so absorbed in the beauty, I wouldn't have gotten into this mess.

_THUMP!_

I skidded along the forest floor, clutching my right calf and glaring at the sharp rock that pierced through when I tripped. The words that tumbled out of my mouth would have made the profanity gods proud. I released my grip from my leg, and was horrified. So much blood! It was a jagged cut, stretching from my knee to my ankle, deep enough to...oh my God, is that bone? The last thing I saw before passing out from blood loss (blood loss I tell you – I would never pass out any other way!) was a flash of long black hair.

_[One unconscious 'tripping on acid' nap thing later]_

"Wha-?"

I peeled my eyes open slowly. I was expecting the shocking white light of the infirmary to flood my poor eyes, but it never came. My eyes shot open, and I immediately left the drastic pain surge up my leg. Is this even the infirmary? No, too dark. My room? Well, only I have the code, and there is no way in hell I got myself from the castle to my room. Whilst my brain was still guessing my whereabouts, I spotted something glinting in the corner. And it was beautiful.

It was an hourglass, sitting on a modest table. But instead of sand, inside it was a pale pink lotus. It floated mysteriously at the top, though a couple of petals had fallen to the bottom. The gilded handles shone in the moon. Well, whoever stay in here, he or she has a strange way of telling time. Whose room is this?

My attention was diverted by a slam on my left. I turned my head, and I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor, and due to an increased gravitational pull, stayed there. He narrowed his eyes, concentrating as he threaded a white threaded through the eye of a needle. After sterilising the said needle, he tied up his raven hair with one hand. The frowning figure came over to my side. It was the greatest retard in the world, Kanda Yuu.

"WHAT THE EFF?" I screamed. Kanda took a step back, startled.

Using my arms as the support, I attempted to launch myself out. But, my stupid leg failed me, and crumpled onto the floor. The Japanese exorcist lifted me up and roughly pushed me back onto the bed.

"Look, you've already bled all over my bedcovers," Kanda growled, pointing at the crimson pools on the white, "don't get blood on my floor, or you'll be the one to effing mop it up!"

"How did you find me?"

"Che. I was training in the woods when I saw you try to kill yourself. Now stop fidgeting, I driving me insane."

Not wanting to anger the man any more (although, it's quite fun!), I complied. But I was still nervous about that needle in his right hand.

"Kanda, w-what's with the needle?"

That was Kanda's moment to flash me his signature creep grin (you know the one...), and he said softly, "Well, someone has to stitch that cut back together."

I sat up, looking at the now dry wound, the torn trouser leg just brushing it. He arched my leg slightly, and jabbed the needle in.

"OW!"

The jabs continued. I tried to speak through the waves of pain.

"Why – OW! – can't – OW! – Nurse – OW! – do it? God, Kanda – OW! – can't – OW! – you be –OW! – GENTLER? OWWW!"

At last, it was over. Kanda tied the thread, and put the sewing kit away. I shook my head; he is a sadistic nutjob. I am out of here.

"Right that's it, I'm going," I said as I attempted my second escape.

But my leg, the stupid reason for all of this, failed to support me again. I felt Kanda try to pull me up. But he wasn't ready to bear my weight, and as a consequence, landed on top with a muffled "Crap."

It took about ten seconds for me to realise that Kanda was laying on top me. I hastily ignored the feeling of his fast heartbeat; no doubt he was embarrassed as well, and pushed him up. That idiot swordsman hadn't positioned his hands right, and fell back.

"Get off me, baka!" I yelled.

Kanda rolled his eyes. "I would if I could. The buttons on my uniform sleeve are stuck on your tie!"

I raised a eyebrow. "Are you trying to keep me hostage or something?"

His blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "What did you say?"

And just when it couldn't get any worse...

_BANG, BANG, BANG!_ The monstrous knocks on the door reverberated to the floor.

"Yo, Yuu! There's blood on the corridor and it's leading to your room! Did you kill Bryony and take in there?"

Stupid, stupid Lavi. My blood pressure was reaching an epic peak.

"Idiot! I'm alive!" I called back. Kanda just emitted a growl, and gave the 'call-me-Yuu-again-and-I'll-take-out-your-entrails-and-feed-them-to-you' look.

"Are you killing her now? I'm coming in-"

Crap. The redhead opened the unlocked door, and stared at us. What a sight it must have been; the stoic, unfeeling samurai on top of the fierce and totally awesome (you know I am) female exorcist. My trousers were ripped and his hair tie had snapped (it doesn't take much for it to snap, does it?). The whole thing must have looked a smidge compromising. Lavi stood for three gut-wrenching seconds and then ran. But he didn't just run – no, our idiot rabbit decided to scream something whilst running.

"YUU's RAPING BRYONY!"

Let the mortification commence. The look on Kanda's face was epically priceless. Somehow, he rapidly untangled his sleeve and sat looking absolutely shocked. That shock didn't take long to be turned into rage, which was signified when he grabbed his trusty Mugen. The speed at which he ran out of his room was phenomenal.

"OI, BAKA USAGI!" came the battle cry.

A few thumps, screams, and sacrilege later, I limped over to see what was going on. I stifle my laugh in my hand. Lavi was on the floor, with Kanda's boot pressed to his throat. Mugen was dangerously pointing at his heart, and Kanda had the face of the Devil.

"Take...it...back," the samurai hissed. When he heard no answer, Mugen lightly touched Lavi's shirt, "Take it back, or I swear to God that you will die tonight."

"O...kay...I...do - I take...it...back..." gasped Lavi.

Kanda seemed satisfied, and allowed Lavi to stand. He readjusted his eyepatch and bandanna, but didn't stop looking wary until the katana was safely inside the scabbard.

"Wait, Yuu," Lavi said, "What were you actually doing then?"

I pressed two fingers to my pulsing temples, and cried, "He was patching me up, God!"

As Kanda and I walked/limped away, and swore I heard Lavi murmur, "It's not like Yuu to take advantage of Bryony like that."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Three words – What-the-hell? I couldn't shake the feeling of mortification all day. Wash away the horror...

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**Forgive me...if you did forgive me, then write a review! Tell me how much of an idiot and how OOC everyone is in my dreams. Raising-Cain is STILL writing...take your time, child. See you next time (with a less horrible dream!) - Cain**

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**Omake!** – Everyone else's reactions to Lavi's – erm – _outburst _

**Me and Raising-Cain were thinking about what everyone else would say...they are all idiots, by the way. Yes, even you Manami (Raising-Cain). Only joking :) - Cain**

Allen: "I'm pretty sure BaKanda didn't live after that. How could he, the [insert awesomely profane word here]!"

Lenalee: "Oh God, are you okay? My brother's great at therapy, he can help you!"

Komui: "...Well, it proves that the tin-man, I mean Kanda, really does have emotions. There's no place like home!"

Manami: Geez, what an idiot. You two are perfect for each other, what was that stunt for?"

Bryony's reaction to them: "Number one – nothing happened. Number two – Lavi has paid for his idiocy. And number three – if it had happened, that's as much sympathy as I get? I get a cussing British kid, a therapist agent, a 'Wizard of Oz' therapist and...well, what the hell, Manami?"


	5. The D Gray man Nightmare

**Well, it's not so much a D Gray-man dream. It was more of a D Gray-man nightmare. And I got to live it in real life a couple of hours ago at our school concert. Let me tell you; our school is huge, so huge it looks like Hogwarts. If you turn off all the lights on the corridor, it gets freaky. REALLY FREAKY. You could call this a belated Halloween special, or a freaky and scary gift for Bak Chan's birthday (today!) I will be doing a multi-chapter fic (after the one I am working on) based on this dream and experience. Oh yeah, and I'll be updating everything else, do you know why? We've finished our first Biology GCS freakin' E exam! (All the people in England will understand us). Ha, enjoy.**

**I no own DGM. Simple enough**

**Warning:**** Blood and maybe scary stuff. Slight AU.

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A warning to future dreamers: NEVER watch D Gray man whilst eating chocolate at two in the morning. You WILL get crazy DGM dreams.

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Black Order concerts are officially boring. Manami and I sat hours upon hours listening to failed jazz, only getting up when it was the choir's turn to sing. What was surprising, though, was that Allen didn't show up for his solo. He was supposed to play the piano, but oddly he wasn't there. As a matter of fact, he wasn't anywhere in the Great Hall. Komui had welcomed all Exorcists and Finders to stay up for refreshments afterwards. I took that as my cue to leave.

Manami followed suit, and I could see the question in her eyes. Where the heck was Allen? Truth be told, I hadn't seen him since morning, when he was inhaling mitarashi dango down his gullet. He had smiled, waved at us and then left. It was now 11:23pm – I wonder if he had even eaten since breakfast. The heels of our combat boots clicked against the cold stone floor, our searching calls reaching everywhere. I could still hear the voices of possibly drunk finders. Great, someone must have found General Cross's secret horde of alcohol. I bet the stuff is a billion years old.

The chandelier lights abruptly ended as we made our way to an unfamiliar corridor. Just looking at the hall made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The windows filtered the late night light, splashing red beams across blackened walls. It seemed like the length of it carried on forever. A cold wind passed through, making me and Manami shiver. That predicted storm was starting to rear its head. After about three minutes of staring, Manami spoke.

"Well, let's try it. Knowing Allen, he would've gotten lost and spent the entire day trying to get back," she said, laying a comforting hand on my arm.

I shrugged the arm off (I don't like being touched!) and said concisely, "Hmm, true. Let's go."

Our boots sounded even louder along the deserted corridor. Every door creaked as we softly called Allen's name. I know – we're exorcists, right? We fight Akuma and Noah, returning alive, albeit injured, every time. Why were we so afraid of a dark corridor? We reached the room in the middle. By the looks of things on the outside, it was a small closet. The door handle was broken, so I pushed the wooden door and peered inside.

Shock. Nothing but shock registered in my body.

Allen was in there, all right - but not as how we had expected. Allen's back was slumped against the wall, one leg outstretched and one slightly bent. His arms lay to his sides, motionless. The usually smiling face was devoid of emotion, and was tilted forward, white hair dangling delicately. It was bathed in the same red and black hue. But it wasn't his immobile body that frightened me. It was the blood, and the sheer volume of it, that hit me. The crimson liquid was thrown across the walls, coming to a similar point at Allen's body. His formal everyday clothes were covered with fluid, right down to his boots. The drastic red against his pure white hair sent shivers down my spine. It ran off his snowy bangs with a soft _drip, drip, drip_.

Every detail of the image branded itself onto my eyes, even though we hardly spent any time gawking at him. Obviously, Allen needed help. Manami and I hauled him out of the room, still calling his name to see if he was conscious. My black gloves became moist with blood, but I didn't care. Something serious had happened and we didn't know what. Manami reached out close the closet door, but let out a gasp. I delicately deposited Allen, and ran to her. That proved it. Something _has _happened.

The engravings weren't there before. Someone had roughly etched a sinister message into the pane of glass in the door. The storm outside was still brewing, and a single flash of lightning three the message into greater relief. It was short and sweet – BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU TREAD, EXORCISTS. Manami noticed a strange purple residue inside the letters. She ran her finger along the edge, picking it up. After rubbing it between her fingers, she grimaces.

"It's wax, from a candle," she said.

I gritted my teeth. "Road Camelot. It was her. That little bi-"

"Let's get Allen to the infirmary. Before he loses too much blood," Manami quickly interjected.

As we ran as fast as we could, Allen slung over my back, I wondered: how low are the Noah clan planning to stoop?

OOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I couldn't get the blood out of my head. What made it worse was going to school, and seeing the exact corridor I was dreaming about. I checked the closet – there was no Allen and no creepy message.

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**Right then, this was posted a little later than I wanted it to be. Ah, well. I did need to finish a 2000 word Shakespeare essay for a Controlled Assessment for English GCSE! This is not fun… :( Reviews! They're good for you, for us, and for society! And now, we even have a guest to tell you to review!**

**Kanda: …Review. Or else.**

**Cain: Or else what? You got to read the whole script.**

**Kanda: Or else I will come after you with Mugen and slice you to pieces. Seriously, how many times do I have to say that for you stupid authors?**

**Cain: Bending free will is fun, isn't it? ***_**sees Mugen**_*** ***_**runs**_*** Review! :)**


	6. The Strangest Innocence

**Man, I've really not been having many awesome DGM dreams lately! Most of them have been lame, so I wouldn't even make it a chapter. But I had this last night, and I actually remembered it pretty well ^-^ Enjoy.**

**Tsuki Yume does not own D Gray Man.**

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Kanda sighed with exhaustion. He was sure that he and his comrade, Noise Marie, had checked the entire town for the Innocence fragment but there was no trace of its existence. Also, there was a nagging notion in his head, but he couldn't tell if it was good or bad. All he knew was that something was here, and it was big. Suddenly, a group of people ran past the two, almost knocking them over. Kanda waved a fist at them and shouted some quite obscene things before Marie dragged him away. They decided to sit in the nearby café, cooled by the shade of the striped umbrella.

"Komui's got it wrong, there's nothing here," Kanda scoffed, "Che, what a waste of time, dragging us out here."

Marie stopped drinking his tea and said, "Maybe we should stay for just another day, on the off chance that something is here."

Kanda shook his head and grumbled, "No way, this is a psycho town. I'd rather sever my fingers than stay here another minute."

"It's not that bad. We'll stay."

Seeing that Marie wasn't going to change his mind on the matter, Kanda stopped pestering and sulked. At least there might be an opportunity for major Akuma extermination – he hadn't seen any action for two days. As Marie paid for his tea, Kanda waited outside and stood frowning at the people. It seemed a procession was heading towards them and hordes of children gathered to watch, apparently immune to Kanda's death glare. His personal space was completely taken up with whiny brats who couldn't even count up to twenty. The marching band turned the corner and kept playing the annoying music. A banner reading _'Happy Birthday Happity Crumblesmith' _came next, the clashing colours of the writing and the background hurting Kanda's eyes. Anyone who can be called Happity Crumblesmith and get a birthday procession must be a well loved man. He rolled his eyes – obviously, it was going to be the mayor or something. Indeed, the mayor came next. But just as Marie appeared at Kanda's side, the mayor whipped out some bread and held it aloft.

"Let us all wish a splendid 'Happy 20th Birthday' to our beloved bread, Mr. Crumblesmith!" he announced jovially.

Honestly, Kanda's jaw dropped right then. A loaf of bread? Were these people even right in the head? Sick of it all, Kanda turned to leave. Instantly, Marie grabbed his arm.

"What?" Kanda hissed at him.

"A loaf of bread lasting twenty years," Marie said slowly, "Doesn't that sound odd?"

"Sure that's the only thing that sounds odd in this town," Kanda whispered, words dripping with sarcasm.

"No, think about it Kanda – it looks absolutely fresh. Do you think…?"

"…Innocence?"

Marie nodded. Everything clicked inside Kanda's head and he started to unsheathe Mugen. But he placed it back in his scabbard; with so many children in the way, fighting for it was not an option. The second option though was a whole lot simpler. Just steal it.

Kanda cut through the crowd, running towards the mayor's departing figure. With one swipe, the bread was out of the mayor's pudgy fingers and in his slender ones. A cry of alarm came from everyone and they began to chase the Japanese exorcist. Darting from alley to alley, he looked for a sure fire escape. But every street was blocked by the bread loving citizens of the town. They quickly closed in on him, forming a loose but secure circle.

"Crap," Kanda cursed, panting from the running.

A portly gentleman came in front of him and stood about a foot above his head. He peered through his monocle and smoothed his moustache. Kanda resisted the temptation to facepalm. What the _hell_ was Marie doing like this? The disguised Noise Marie turned and spoke to the audience. Kanda wasn't interested in what he was saying, but rather focused on his comrade's actions. Every few second, he was twitch towards him. Finally understanding, he surreptitiously slipped the bread into Marie's hands.

"You're coming with me, young man. C'mon, to the park we go, where the mayor is waiting!" Marie boomed.

It didn't take long for them to arrive, and the mayor narrowed his eyes at Kanda. Marie handed him Mr. Crumblesmith and sat down on the bench. He looked at the two men, interested to see the oncoming action. The mayor cleared his throat and wiggled his tie, finally extending a hand towards Kanda.

"Well, Mr. Exorcist – I'm sure you had your reasons. Why don't you apologise to this gentleman after you've talked to me. Pleasure to meet you, my name is Greg," he introduced himself.

To Marie surprise, Kanda actually took his offered hand. Kanda then gave a dark smirk, and tossed Greg's body into a tree. The small man slid down, groaning a little. Marie got up and removed his disguise.

"Today was a lot more entertaining than I thought it would be," Kanda said.

"You said it, old friend," Marie agreed.

And with that, multiple Akuma, not completely morphed from their human form, jumped out from behind the various trees. Kanda slowly unsheathed Mugen and placed two fingers on the blade's edge. He traced them towards the point, a bright blue glow following in his wake.

"Mugen, _hatsudou_," Kanda whispered.

He lunged at the Akuma with ferocity…

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Really, mother? You're going to wake me up right before the climax of my dream? This is not fair…

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**So, yeah – I didn't get to finish my dream. You can all use your imagination as to what happened next. Review, and tell me what you thought of. Until another dream… - Tsuki Yume x**


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